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This should cover all the basic food groups.

My husband has a thing for condiments. Does anyone else have this problem? Whenever I send him to the store he’s like a menopausal woman let loose in a chocolate factory. Despite giving him strict orders to stick to the list, he’ll come home with all kinds of weird and impractical goodies that you only get in those giant corporate gift baskets at Christmas. Just the other day we went to Sheridan Nurseries to pick out a couple of shrubs for our back yard and when we got home he magically pulled out a bottle of grainy mustard and a hot barbecue sauce from his pockets that he’d purchased when I wasn’t looking . . . at the plant nursery. Who even knew they sold edibles there.

Our pantry is overflowing with every imaginable kind of sauce. I think it’s the names that get him—Bone Suckin’ Sauce and Thick’n Stick. Our fridge shelves are bulging with barely sampled bottles of terriyaki sauce, marinades, salad dressings, salsa, relishes and jellies. If there’s ever a nuclear attack or another ice storm like we had in 1998 we can feed all of the Greater Toronto Area on our inventory of assorted hot pepper jellies, corn relishes, dipping sauces, marinades, grainy Dijon mustards, exotic oils and bottled salad dressings. Every once in a while I pack up all the unopened weird concoctions and hustle them off to the food bank, squealing my tires as I rip out of the parking lot before they discover what I’ve donated.

But the package said "potatoes".
But the package said “potatoes”.

And, he’s oblivious to my pleas to not bring home treats when I’m trying to watch my weight. Before I can say “no ice-cream,” giant bags of ripple chips and Black Jack Cherry frozen yogurt have landed on the kitchen counter alongside a package of gooey raspberry Danishes. But there’s hope. Last night as he was fishing for something in the fridge, he admitted that despite the bounty of “gourmet” condiments we possess, nothing beats home-made. I foresee an imminent trip to the food bank. Jeanne Robertson understands my problem. She sent her hubby to the store for the ingredients for a pound cake and . . . well, she created a brilliant story around it which could discount my “stick to the list” approach. Check out the YouTube link below.

jeanne1
Jeanne Robertson shares my pain. Click here for her hilarious story.

One solution is to use the tactic my mother employed when she used to send me to the store when I was a kid for a brick of Neapolitan ice cream. Remember “bricks” of ice-cream? They were the size of a pound of butter and sliced into four perfect dessert portions for our family. She would give me the exact change so there’s be no negotiating— twenty-five cents for the ice-cream and, if I’d been particularly good, two cents for a Dubble Bubble. I think I’m going to have to try that with my condiment junkie—one twenty-dollar bill for what’s on the list and two cents for a strawberry licorice swizzler to satisfy his natural guy urgings. I can only hope.

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This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Hi Lynda, loved this post. I know exactly what you mean. I wrote about a similar experience on my own website under post title” Potato Chips, do we really need 250 flavors? ”
    And while I am commenting, just want you to know I have you “bookmarked” in my favorites. Have been following you ever since I started planning my own website, and thought yours looked so clean and uncluttered with great content! Keep up the great work!

    1. Thanks so much for your feedback, Joanna. It’s always gratifying to know someone is reading and enjoying.  Lynda Davis Follow my blog at: http://www.boomerbroadcast.net Social commentary on life from a Boomer Broad’s perspective e-mail: lyndadavis1@yahoo.ca For further insights into the Boomer perspective on business, fashion, mind and body, order my new book, BOOMERBROADcast. It makes a great hostess, birthday or Christmas gift. Click on this link: http://www.lulu.com  or http://www.amazon.com

  2. Oh, I can sympathize with you…..my husband’s eyes are like a kid in a candy store when we hit Costco for a couple of specific items…..I call it the $100 club! One day I send my hubby for flour…..all I needed was a small, one pound bag as I don’t use it often anymore. He came home with a 10 pound bag because it was on sale and seemed more reasonably priced. I then had to keep in the fridge, which has limited space at the best of times and it took forever to use up. Best to do my own shopping…..alone!
    Gail from Oakville

    1. I hear ‘ya. Costco is a whole different issue! Must write about that some time. Thanks.  Lynda Davis Follow my blog at: http://www.boomerbroadcast.net Social commentary on life from a Boomer Broad’s perspective e-mail: lyndadavis1@yahoo.ca For further insights into the Boomer perspective on business, fashion, mind and body, order my new book, BOOMERBROADcast. It makes a great hostess, birthday or Christmas gift. Click on this link: http://www.lulu.com  or http://www.amazon.com

  3. Too funny! Mine comes back with years’ supply of pasta, pasta sauce, chips, or anything else that is on sale : (

    Our freezer is so full I can never find anything in there ….

    ________________________________

    1. Sounds like a Costco run which is a whole other can of worms. Thanks, Lola.

      Sent from my iPad Lynda Davis Follow me at: boomerbroadcast.net

      >

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Never ever send your husband to the grocery store unsupervised

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