Imagine how you would react if you were suddenly jolted out of your normal, ordinary life by being informed by the police that your loved and trusted husband, for more than fifty years, and the father of your children, is a monster, a rapist, and possibly even a murderer. That’s what happened to Gisèle Pelicot when the police in the south of France called her and her husband, Dominique, in for questioning. The alleged crime unfolded when her husband was caught on surveillance camera in a grocery store using a hidden camera to peek up women’s skirts. That may sound like a fairly innocuous crime, but what the police discovered when they seized Dominique’s computer, phone, and memory sticks opened a horrific can of worms that changed the lives of hundreds, even thousands of people, forever.

In her recently released memoir, A Hymn To Life, Shame Has To Change Sides, Gisèle Pelicot tells her true story of how an abused and victimized woman became a cause cèlebre for justice and the rights of women. For more than ten years, without her knowledge or consent, her husband had been drugging her into unconsciousness, then inviting other men to sexually and otherwise abuse her body. He videotaped the assaults and posted them online for other perverts and sadists to enjoy.

Gisèle’s story is beautifully written. She enjoyed a normal, loving childhood until her mother died of cancer when Gisèle was only nine years old. The grief and trauma experienced by the young girl were only exacerbated when her military father remarried a cruel and vengeful woman who constantly tormented and belittled the girl. As a result, Gisèle left home at the age of fourteen to work and escape her oppressive home life. When she met another shy, likable teenage boy from a similarly abusive home, they identified as soul mates, fell in love and married.

After the marriage, she came to discover that her new husband came from a brutally dysfunctional family. Dominique’s father was abusive, incestuous, and a bully. As often happens, violence begets violence. This was not evident in the early years of their marriage, however, as both Gisèle and Dominique loved each other and felt they had broken the chain of abuse. They endured money problems and the usual challenges many young married couples face. The difference, however, was that while Dominique was irresponsible with money and proved unable to maintain a steady job, Gisèle advanced in her career, rising from a secretary to increasingly responsible, higher-paying positions.

After three children and a difficult but enduring marriage, they retired to the south of France near Avignon. During this time, Gisèle experienced severe bouts of memory loss, blackouts, and a series of health problems. While being attended to by various doctors and specialists with the support of her husband, no one questioned the cause of her mounting gynecological and neurological problems. It wasn’t until the police revealed the contents of her husband’s computer and phone that she began to understand the extent of what had been done to her for more than ten years. By then, she was in her late sixties.

Despite the shocking and damning evidence, Gisèle clung to the fragile thread of hope that there was some good in her husband and that he was remorseful. As the investigation expanded and became more complicated, the extent of his behaviour and criminal acts became undeniable. It took four years to prepare the case, bring it to court, and uncover the depth of his crimes. Fifty-one men were also arrested and jailed for rape and participating in the horrendous abuse of Gisèle.

Rape victims are offered the options of an open or closed court to protect their identity if they wish. Gisèle chose a closed court to spare her family, and at the eleventh hour, she rescinded. The story had attracted the attention of not only the local news media but also media around the world. Encouraged by the support of thousands of women, both in person and around the world, she responded to the phrase “Shame has to change sides”. She opted for an open court. This meant the testimony, the horrific videos and pictures would all be on public display. Imagine entering a courtroom with your two lawyers to face your former husband and his lawyer, along with fifty-one hostile, entitled perpetrators with fifty-one lawyers of their own, and an army of character defenders attesting to their declared innocence. It takes a true hero to subject herself to this kind of scrutiny.

Gisèle Pelicot endured what no woman should have to in her own defence. In the book, she states that it was the outstanding support of women around the world and the fragile support of her family and friends that enabled her to face each day with dignity. She endured through extreme personal pain and introspection, family stress and doubts, humiliation, cross-examination designed to discredit her, and even the unsuccessful appeal of one of her abusers. She endured everything not only for herself and justice, but for all other women who did not have her voice.

I cannot recommend A Hymn To Life highly enough. It is not salacious, but considered, sensitive, and encouraging. So many women are victims of entitled, brutal men, and they may not have the necessary emotional resources to do what Gisèle Pelicot drew on to see justice served. That she survived to move the cause of other women forward is a miracle. I could not put this book down, and I feel stronger myself after reading it.

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