It’s not my fault. My husband brought it home the first time, probably because he couldn’t resist the name. Then, I made the mistake of tasting Black Jack Cherry frozen yogurt. It’s a taste sensation unlike any ice-cream or frozen yogurt concoction I’ve ever tasted. Anything with nuts or crunchy things in it makes it doubly appealing as the chewing process makes it linger twice as long. Maple walnut, butter pecan, Rocky Road—they all qualify as gifts from heaven but there’s something about Black Jack Cherry that puts it in a class all its own. For starters, it’s bubblegum pink. Who can resist that! Then, it’s packed with chunks of real dark cherries and chocolate in generous portions so that every bite is a slice of heaven.
Despite cruising down the frozen desserts aisle of the grocery store with eyes right at the refrigerated rows of cottage cheese and zero fat yogurt, that freezer door just flies open, a giant arm reaches out, pulls me over and casually tosses a container of Black Jack Cherry frozen yogurt into my cart. I don’t tell my husband in case he finds my stash and decides he wants some too. I don’t share. I eat it right out of the carton until I can’t stomach another mouthful. It’s disgraceful, disgusting and humiliating but impossible to resist. For the most part I’ve been fairly successful in minimizing my intake of carbs and sugar, but all resolve to be a good girl dissolves in the frozen desserts aisle.
Different stores carry a variety of brands of Black Jack Cherry frozen yogurt so it’s as easy to buy as weed in a school yard but Canada’s own Chapman’s brand is particularly decadent. The junkies prey on my weakness and label it low-fat despite having 120 calories per half-cup portion. Half a cup is only one bite! That’ll never happen. Like I said, it’s not my fault.
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Lynda I REALLY enjoyed your Black Jack Cherry “Low-Fat” Frozen Yogurt review. You are one funny Boomer Femme. Playful yet forthright. I completely understand both your passion and your compulsivity in relation to this particular devilishly delish concoction of frozen dark fruit, dark chocolate and dairy milk, fermented (most likely with dark energy and dark matter.) I too share your abiding affection for this otherwise unassuming yet heavenly confection.
The PROBLEM dear Lynda is that not all Black Jack Cherry Frozen Yogurt (heretofore ‘BJCFY’) cartons contain the same stuff within. For example I feel a similar attraction and delight in relation to the KEMP’S brand of BJCFY available throughout the USA, which, apparently, has an altogether different flavor and consistency, though most significantly, a radically disparate recipe compared to your beloved indigenous CHAPMAN’S species, inhabiting and distributed (or ‘pushed’ to use your drug metaphor) throughout the far reaches of Canada.
These days I rarely travel north of the border and I readily admit to having never savored the seductive, yet no doubt also mystical and spiritual experience of gobbling down the BJCFY of Chapman provenance you extoll so lyrically, nevertheless … I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN, based on my close comparative reading of the respective ingredient lists and the manufacturers’ stated approaches to BJCFY dessert design and implementation, that the singular, exquisite, ecstatic experience of gastronomic merging with the Kemp variety (mating?) simply MUST be vastly superior! I feel it in my bones and with all my intuitive prowess. There can be no question as to the true identity of the most superlative BJCFY! MY tastebuds would never lie!
[Calming down now and coming back to my senses…]
In this moment an inner voice is guiding me to hew to a more placid, neutral, reasoned and objective, scientific approach, momentarily dampening my wildly subjective fervor which, admittedly, perhaps even strayed into hyperbole. Or “truthful hyperbole” as my country’s most recent, most regrettable former president says.
So I hereby challenge ye to an epic comparative tasting. Nay, a duly constituted and witnessed monumental matchup of the marvelously duelling desserts!
Perhaps a suitable venue for my proposed International BJCFY Tasting Competition might be selected on or near the Canada-US border, perhaps at a well-appointed Olympic-certified tasting facility akin to the recently-demolished Inter-Korean Liaison Office building within the Inter-Korean De-Militarized Zone (by order of Kim Jong-un himself) — or, at some other much more humble and inviting, tranquil and beautiful locale.
(Just kidding Lynda. Wink. Wink.)
Wishing you and your hubby lots and lots of joy, peace and BJCFY ( especially as you confessed that you’ve been intentionally concealing it and depriving him of same).
Oh one more thing … Kemp’s is clearly more reality-based and is demonstrating more corporate integrity because their label states the suggested BJCFY serving size to be 2/3 cup, as opposed to Chapman’s even more laughable claim of a mere 1/2.
Actually they are both engaged in deceptive marketing practices. Chapman’s half cup serving portion is like one teaspoon-sized mouthful compared to Kemp’s tablespoon!
[*** SORRY I TRIED TO REVISE MY ORIGINAL POSTING. WHEN I WAS FINISHED THE SYSTEM SAID I COULD NOT POST THE REVISION. BUT NOW IT LOOKS LIKE IT POSTED 2 COPIES OF THE REVISION WITHOUT THE OPTION TO DELETE ONE. GO.FIGURE.]
Lynda I REALLY enjoyed your Black Jack Cherry “Low-Fat” Frozen Yogurt review. You are one funny Boomer Femme. Playful yet forthright. I completely understand both your passion and your compulsivity in relation to this particular concoction of frozen (strange) fruit, dark chocolate and fermented dairy milk. I too share your affection for this otherwise unassuming heavenly confection.
The PROBLEM is that not all Black Jack Cherry Frozen Yogurt (heretofore ‘BJCFY’) cartons contain the same stuff within. I feel a similar attraction and delight in relation to the KEMP’S brand available throughout the USA, which, apparently, has an altogether different flavor and consistency though most significantly, a radically disparate recipe compared to your beloved indigenous CHAPMAN’S species, inhabiting and distributed (or ‘pushed’ to use your drug metaphor) primarily throughout the far reaches of Canada.
These days I rarely travel north of the border and I readily admit to having never savored the seductive, yet no doubt also mystical experience of gobbling down the Chapman variety you extoll so lyrically, nevertheless … I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN, based on my close comparative reading of the respective ingredient lists and the manufacturers’ stated approaches to BJCFY dessert design and implementation, that the singular, exquisite, ecstatic experience of gastronomic merging with the Kemp variety (mating?) simply MUST be vastly superior! There can be no question as to identity of the most superlative BJCFY. MY tastebuds would never lie!
[Calming down now and coming back to my senses…]
In this moment an inner voice is guiding me to hew to a more placid, neutral, reasoned and objective, scientific approach, momentarily dampening my wildly subjective fervor which perhaps even strayed into hyperbole.
So I hereby challenge ye to a comparative tasting, nay, a duly constituted and witnessed monumental matchup of the marvelous duelling desserts!
Perhaps a suitable venue for my proposed International BJCFY Tasting Competition might be selected on or near the Canada-US border, perhaps at a well-appointed tasting facility akin to the recently-demolished Inter-Korean Liaison Office building within the Inter-Korean De-Militarized Zone (by order of Kim Jong-un) — or at some other much more inviting, tranquil and beautiful locale.
(Just kidding Lynda. Wink. Wink.)
Wishing you and hubby lots and lots of peace, joy and BJCFY!