It has been thirty years since I sat in meeting rooms as the sole female in testosterone-loaded groups of male construction managers, red-faced and dripping wet from every pore in my body, hoping no one noticed. With a history of trouble-free periods for decades and no gynecological problems to speak of, menopause hit me like a tsunami. My scalp, my back, stomach, face, neck, and even my legs poured with sweat. I was blindsided, totally unprepared for the never-ending hot flashes, insomnia, weight gain, and other unpleasant changes in my body. Absolutely every part of my anatomy suddenly became drier than the Sahara Desert. But like all good boomer gals, I endured the onslaught of symptoms as best I could and soldiered on—until I no longer could. Dragging myself to work on two or three hours of sleep turned me into a cranky, barely functioning zombie. It was the lack of sleep that finally forced me to seek medical assistance.

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) made me instantly normal again, more like the person I was before menopause. Almost as soon as I swallowed that first pill, I started to feel like my old self again—and I slept like a baby. This experience came at a time in the ’90s when there was still some lingering misinformation about the now disproven links between HRT and breast cancer. I stayed on HRT for seven years and was relieved to be relieved of menopausal symptoms. Joy to the world.

The current groundswell of demands for menopause information and the sudden proliferation of advocacy groups could lead us to think no one before Gen X had ever experienced the female “change of life”. Gen Xers are now building entire careers around podcasting, writing, and otherwise advocating for greater access to information and menopause management. It’s as if they invented menopause, and like the cavalry, they have come roaring in to fix it. While that’s generally a good thing, we boomers find ourselves shaking our heads in amazement. We all know that if men experienced menopause the way women do, it would have been fixed centuries ago.

Over the years, I have published several articles about menopause on BoomerBroadcast which I am happy to share and encourage you to read:

• GenX Acts As If They Were Never Informed About Perimenopause and Menopause
• How To Manage That Nasty Menopause Middle
• Should Employers Institute Menopause Sensitivity Training For Staff?
• The Joy of Menopause – The Honest-To-Goodness Truth

While I managed to endure the transition all those years ago, I did not thrive. I now wonder if I should have been more upfront about what I was experiencing. Maybe Gen Xers are on to something. They’re already leading the overdue campaign for work/life balance. Looking back, I suffered more than I realized or was willing to admit. Exhausted all the time (even with the help of HRT), lacking the stamina and patience I once had, and getting fed up with the rat race, I finally acknowledged my limitations. Burned out from a high-stress job and struggling to face each day, I retired from the corporate world at the age of 57. Fortunately, I had a husband who was in a position to financially support my decision, an option most women do not have.

Even Type-A superwomen like Sheryl Sandberg, author of Lean In, capitulated to the menopause menace. After achieving business success as Chief Operating Officer and second-in-command to Mark Zuckerberg at META, and writing a best-selling book that convinced women they could have it all, Sandberg hit a wall. The flaws in her philosophy were evident when I read her book (click here for review) all those years ago—she had financial advantages and resources most working women didn’t. Even with those advantages, though, when Sandberg hit menopause, she realized she was just like the rest of us. She re-evaluated her busy lifestyle and resigned from her position at META.

While I’m certainly not advocating that all menopausal women quit their jobs (in reality, few of us can), perhaps it’s time women and society in general acknowledged that we are not invincible, and there is nothing wrong with accepting support. While menopause may knock the shit out of us, when the worst is over, we rise like a Phoenix from our ashes. Finally freed from the inconvenience of monthly periods and worrying about birth control, our body eventually settles back down. We experience a reversal of all the changes we went through in puberty during our teens. Once the hot flashes, insomnia, mood swings, lack of libido, and energy lags recede, we regain our Super Woman powers. Many women do their best work, are happiest, most creative, and most satisfied when we reach our sixties, seventies, and even older. It’s Mother Nature’s way of rewarding us for all the crap she put us through.

One thing I would like to clarify is that boomer women did speak out and share their perimenopause and menopause experiences, but no one listened. Gen Xers were busy having their babies and building careers, so our warnings went unheeded. Until you’ve been there, you cannot comprehend how it will affect you. In retrospect, my only regret is that when I was going through “the change,” I wish I had cut myself some slack—been more considerate of what was happening to my body, and been kinder to myself.  I’m watching the current crop of Gen Xers and their supporters working on behalf of all women to level the playing field by improving lifestyles and working conditions for everyone. Hopefully, someone is listening and responding. Did menopause knock you sideways, or did you power through unscathed?  I welcome your comments below.