Not all of us get it but most of us do—that extra layer of fat distribution around the middle that accompanies menopause and turns our body from a feminine hourglass shape into a rectangle (me!), a pear, or an apple.  In my youth, when I was slim, I naively thought it would never happen to me but it did and I’ve been fighting a losing battle with an extra twenty pounds around my middle ever since I turned fifty.

So, imagine my excitement when I spotted a little fashion advice in The New York Times Open Thread column the other day that addressed that very issue. A reader enquired of the NTY chief fashion critic Vanessa Friedman how to best dress for menopause, “this new stage”.

After reading the article, though, I had to question whether Friedman had actually experienced menopause so I Googled her and at 56 she does indeed qualify as one of us. Who better to advise on menopausal fashion than a menopausal woman? At least Friedman is not a man as many fashion advisors are which makes it very difficult to take their advice seriously (those men don’t have to wear what they promote). Nonetheless, she is thin which means she is one of the lucky ones who probably still does have a waist.

Friedman’s suggestion to ignore the size number is excellent and the best advice ever. We are all familiar with “vanity sizing” which lowers the size number on higher-priced clothing to try and fool buyers into thinking they’re smaller than they truly are. Be sure to try on multiple sizes to get clothing that genuinely fits and flatters rather than soothes your ego. Ignore the number.

She was also right about accessories. Boomers do not want to dress like old ladies—even though chronologically we are old ladies. Embrace whatever style you genuinely love and punch it up with statement jewelry, scarves, purses, or shoes. Adding exciting accessories to good basics always works and makes us feel positive about ourselves, regardless of our waist measurement.

I must, however, question Friedman’s advice about belts. I don’t know about you, but I donated more than thirty lovely belts to charity a few years ago and wrote about it in Gone With The Waist, And Frankly My Dear I Don’t Give A Damn! Much as I wish I could wear a sexy studded belt or wide waist cincher, my new rectangular shape dictates I no longer can and never will be able to again. Unless you’re tall and/or willowy, we’ve been forced to forego belts, especially when you tend to be short-waisted like I am.

And, don’t forget about shoes which are rarely affected by how much we weigh. Go for those cool biker boots, the strappy red suede numbers or the animal-print sneakers. While we may no longer be able to wear heels, we can still strut out in statement footwear, even if it means concealing arch supports or orthotics to keep us upright and mobile.

While her suggestion to dress in layers seems practical, when she suggested “a crew neck over a shirt with a blazer and scarf with jeans” I nearly choked on my prune juice. Anyone who has ever lived through menopause would never suggest in a million years wearing three layers—a crewneck pullover over a shirt under a blazer. There are good layers and stupid layers and three layers is just stupid. While it may work for pre-menopausal skinnies, it’s too hot, too bulky and too cumbersome for normal women. Just contemplating all those layers brings forth images of the Michelin man, not to mention the ventilation issue in the ‘pits’.

I am certainly not the expert that Vanessa Friedman is but she has offered some good advice. After decades of trial and error in our fashion choices, most boomers know what works and what doesn’t work for our particular body type. We know what colours flatter (we all had our colours done in the 80s, right?). Much as I love lilac, I can’t wear it. Orange is out of the question but pinky-coral works for me. We understand the importance of proportion, fit, and quality.

These days I’m making a conscious effort to get away from the always safe and boring black-and-white combos.  Vibrant colours make me feel confident, even invincible. I’m also experimenting with larger and more artistic pieces of jewelry and loving the results. While I haven’t tried wide-legged jeans or pants yet (memories of 1975), I did buy a pair of dropped-crotch lantern pants last year (that I once swore I would never wear) . . . . and I love them.

Many boomer gals are for the most part (and fortunately) past the hot flash phase and we’re familiar with the concept of layering so we can add or remove articles of clothing as our inner furnace dictates. But, we’re still left with the meno-middle that will never go away. How do we camouflage it? What fashion choices are comfortable and stylish enough without looking like we’re embracing maternity wear?

We’ve invested in tunics, creatively draped sweaters, and loose dresses. We’ve accepted the inevitability of elastic waistbands forever more and are thankful to the heavens above for whoever invented Spandex. We know wearing darker colours on the bottom is more flattering and we understand the principles of proportion and fit. We are always open, however, to new ideas and suggestions.

I enjoy trying new looks while avoiding trends. Prints are no longer on my radar as I get tired of them quickly and they end up in the charity bag. For what it’s worth, Jackie Kennedy never wore prints. I buy what I love and reject what I merely “like”. Fashion is uplifting and we’re never beyond wanting to feel our best. What have you tried, tested, and embraced as a good look for you now that you’re at that “new stage of life”? Care to share?