If you’re like me, you’ve probably been unsuccessful in reaching a real human being when you’ve tried to call any of your service providers. Whether it’s internet, TV streaming, telephone, utility companies, bank, or whatever, they have all embraced computerized bots that attempt to resolve our problems without giving us the option of speaking to a live person. The practice of being directed through the loop of endless bot prompts is only increasing, and it’s driving me crazy. The entire business of customer service needs to do a time study because they’re wasting an unbelievable amount of my time.

Remember the olden days when we could call the telephone company’s main number, or the gas company, our TV provider, or the electric company (I can’t even tell them apart now—Enercare, Enersource, Alectra, Enbridge—I’m utterly confused about who’s who), and get answered by a human switchboard operator? We would ask for “Billing” or “Repair”, then be forwarded to the appropriate person in the correct department, who would sort out our problem in a few minutes. The entire transaction might take fifteen minutes to resolve—max. Those days are long gone, my friend, never to return. Don’t even consider calling Revenue Canada—you’ll die of old age before you get through.

I recently encountered a billing problem with Rogers that necessitated a phone call. After placing the call several times, I kept getting a recorded message that they were experiencing a high call volume and suggested I “Call back at another time”. After a week of calling back at different times and still not being able to get through, it was suggested that I try their online Chat.

By then, I was desperate and having no alternative, I opted for the online chatbot. Once connected, I waited in a queue for almost an hour for my number to come up before I was connected with what I can only hope (but I’m not making any assumptions) was a real human being. After spending a full hour negotiating and explaining my situation through slow, back-and-forth typed messages, I was informed by Orlando that he did not have the tools to resolve my problem. Back to square one! We’ve now tallied upwards of three hours with “customer service”, without a happy ending.

Whenever I’m navigating through endless phone prompts, or typing lengthy back-and-forth DMs to a chatbot, the hours add up. Even with my rudimentary math skills, I calculate that the new technology solves a single problem (IF in fact it solves my problem at all) in a minimum of two to three hours, versus fifteen minutes in the olden days. How is the new technology a time-saver? Imagine all the work hours employers lose in the course of a week while their employees are trying to resolve their personal service provider problems on company time. Even when you do eventually get a live person, they may speak English as a second or third language, making it difficult to understand or hear. That usually means constantly asking them to repeat themselves, another enormous time waster.

The elimination of human beings in customer service is a serious disservice to the general public,, and particularly for old boomers and other seniors like myself. I refuse to use self-checkout at the grocery store as I consistently find the live, professional, human checkout clerk to be much faster and more efficient than I am. It also gives me the opportunity to engage in a cheerful word or two with another human being, which is never to be underestimated. I once had to summon help three times to check out four items at the self-checkout.

No one sums up the call centre problem better than Rob Temple on Very British Problems.  For a good laugh, I encourage you to watch this brief YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WDmc-Nqonws. You will feel vindicated. I want to break up with online chatbots. And, let’s be clear, “It’s not me. It’s you!”.

You’re welcome! We appreciate your business. Is there anything else I can help you with today?