Do you go grocery shopping with your significant other? I’m always shocked when I learn that some of my friends shop for groceries together—as a couple. My experience has been that men are expensive and often petulant accompanists who are better off left at home. Hubby and I came close to getting a divorce once in the Costco parking lot because he lost me in the store and was forced (??) to wait in the hot parking lot for an hour until I returned to the car with the keys. For the sake of maintaining marital harmony, no further details will be disclosed but trust me, that was the end of à deux trips to the store for us, despite the cozy and tempting $1.50 hot dog and Coke lunch deal.

If you go to the grocery store with someone in your life at the male end of the spectrum (!! trying to be PC here) then you probably know they’re not the same as us. We take a shopping list and pretty much stick to that list, with a covert swing through the bakery department.

We also focus our purchases on the outside aisles where all the so-called healthy food is. Men make a dive for the middle aisles loading up on snacks, strange dipping concoctions in jars (that never get used), and junk food. They love the call of seasoned and smoked dead animals in the cold meats and deli section. This preference is also evident in their choice of pizza—the more sausage, bacon, and pepperoni, the better. Forget anything green, and preferably banish it altogether.

The differences in shopping habits are not limited to the grocery store. What boomer gal doesn’t love a leisurely day trip to the mall once in a while to check out the latest fashions and have a nice lunch with a girlfriend or two over glasses of ice-cold Pinot Grigio. There could be a pair of shoes that are just calling our name and we want to get them while they still have our size and if they’re on sale, well, that’s a major bonus.

A fun shopping trip for men is going to Home Depot or Canadian Tire. They have been known to occasionally pick up new underwear (after several reminders) available in 3-packs at Walmart, but usually prefer we do it for them. Tee shirts are worn until they’re an embarrassment and everyday pants and shorts are strictly utilitarian pieces of outerwear and require no perusing, trying on, or other fashion considerations. They can be ordered on Amazon or purchased in multiples of beige or black by the same familiar manufacturer at any big box store, enough to last (once again) until they’re embarrassing.

Women have drawers full of every kind of underwear for every occasion—date night, period underwear (no longer needed by boomer women but bladder control has crept into some of our lives), workout, everyday, invisible for wearing under white pants, thongs, granny pants, shapewear, and everything in between. Some have lace, although it can’t be scratchy. If you’re like me, most of it is experimental. The perfect bra does not exist and I have donated dozens of failed styles to charity. I’m still searching but considering my age and the limited time I have left on this planet, I’m not optimistic I’ll achieve bra nirvana in this lifetime. And, it’s far more comfortable to go without as often as possible.

Women like to discuss feelings. Men do not. The first thing we say when asking about a friend is, “How’s she doing?” Men say, “What’s he driving these days?”. In my own group of friends, we’ve found it convenient and ultimately more conducive to good conversation to separate into men’s and ladies’ circles when we all get together. I know it’s a cliché but that’s life as we know it. The men can discuss power washers and football scores without infringing on our fascinating takes on the latest skincare products, best-selling novels, or decorating adventures.

Men tend to be goal-oriented (literally and figuratively) while we savour the process. That’s why it’s ‘pedal-to-the-metal’ when they’re going somewhere, while we are totally up for making an impromptu stop at an outlet mall or craft sale. On the other hand, they can sit in one place for hours watching football or baseball but when we ask them to hang a picture, they roll their eyes and tell us they’re too busy. So, we do it ourselves which is usually faster, easier, and involves far fewer tools and trips to the basement for more tools. A hammer and a single one-inch finishing nail have always worked wonders for me.

With all the discussion around gender issues in the media these days, I’m glad boomers missed out on navigating the current sensitive political implications for the variations of men and women. I do understand that gender is determined on a spectrum that may not always be clearly defined, including certain behaviours like shopping that tend to lean to a particular chromosome no matter where you are on the gender scale.

The relaxation of gender definitions is a positive step forward for everyone but I still can’t help myself from saying from time to time, “Men will be men; boys will be boys” wherever they are on that elusive scale. Personally, though, I prefer to shop alone as even my closest girlfriends may have a different agenda or shopping rhythm from mine. Better still, order online and have it brought right to my door.

Are you one of those special people who can co-shop with your partner or are you a solo shopper like me?