Hooked on Timmie’s crack tea

tims tea2The six-hour drive to visit my parents always starts with a fuel stop at Tim Horton’s about five minutes from my home. There, I fill up with an extra-large steeped tea and that lasts me for about three hours of the trip. I have to wait about thirty minutes for it to cool enough that I can drink it and by then I’m sailing past Pickering on the 401. I keep sticking my finger in the hole in the lid until it reaches an acceptably drinkable temperature. Then, the sipping begins, usually accompanied by tiny bites of a President’s Choice bakery chocolate chip oatmeal cookie, also stretched out to last as long as possible. On short city errand days, I sometimes have them plop one ice-cube into my tea so I can drink it before the sun goes down.

Now Timmie is offering a new and improved version of their steeped tea. It’s whole leaf orange pekoe tea that “gently steeps Tim Horton’s own unique blend of orange pekoe tea leaves for consistently full-flavored results“. And I must admit the new version is smoother and less “bark-ie tasting” than their earlier blend. The downside, however, is that I can hardly get into my car without wanting some. As a non-coffee drinker I was thrilled to finally become part of that cultish group of haunted addicts who go around clutching a Tim Horton’s cup, only mine is filled with steeped tea. Plunking a tea bag into a cup of water never results in the same flavour experience as steeping.

Addiction is not a pretty thing.
Addiction is not a pretty thing.

When they were trying to break into the U.S. marketplace in New York City, the President of Tim Horton said that if they could get coffee-drinking customers for three purchases, they would be hooked. That statement only confirmed my suspicions that there is definitely some special, secret additive in their coffee and tea that makes it addictive. Is it extra caffeine or a couple of discreet, untraceable particles of crack? Whatever it is, I’m hooked and at $1.91 for a measly cup of tea, I know I’m filling my suppliers’ pockets with cash and my bladder with disposable liquid gold. But, the way I see it; it’s a win/win. Pass the cookies please.

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