BOOMERBROADcast

The voice of baby boomers, the silenced majority. Rants and reflections on lifestyle, fashion, current events, books and movies.

‘Tis the season for a Miss Manners refresher

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Globe and Mail columnist David Eddy has again printed a letter from a reader frustrated and disappointed that she never received a thank you for a shower gift. Eddy advised politely addressing the issue with the gift recipient by gently letting her know you would have appreciated a thank you note. This should be done in person but an email is also acceptable. And it wouldn’t hurt to remind the recipient that they “should probably send one every time they receive a gift”.

Two years ago I published a piece on the dearth of manners in many young people today. Notwithstanding baseball hats being unacceptable at the dinner table or failure to offer your seat to a senior on the subway, certain lapses are just unacceptable. It’s a parental failure for not teaching basic manners for sure but that doesn’t excuse people for not taking the time to thank gift-givers for wedding, shower, birthday and graduation gifts. If your parents didn’t teach you basic manners, you can easily learn by observing others who did get proper instruction when they were growing up.

My girlfriends and I have had this same discussion many times and since it seems to be an ongoing issue, I’m republishing part of my earlier post. Feel free to share if you can relate:

Thank you for your thank you

In David Eddie’s Damage Control column in this morning’s Globe and Mail a reader asked for advice on how to handle ungrateful recipients of birthday and Christmas gifts who never sent a thank you or even an acknowledgement that the “gift” was received. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and family friends who share this concern are legion. When someone takes the time to tuck a cheque or gift card for a slice of their hard-earned income into a birthday card which they’ve gone to the store to purchase, put in the envelope with a stamp they’ve also purchased and walked it to a mailbox, how difficult can it be for the recipient to email a quick note or email saying, “Thanks so much for your birthday gift. I’m saving for a new bicycle and your cheque helps bring me closer to my goal.”? After all, young people spend hours a day texting.

Hosting a dinner party or barbecue can involve considerable time, effort and expense. Be sure to follow up with a thank you.

Hosting a dinner party or barbecue can involve considerable time, effort and expense. As a guest, be sure to follow-up with a thank you.

With the convenience of email there’s no excuse for not taking a few seconds to thank someone who has done something kind for you or remembered your birthday with a card enclosing a cheque or gift card. And when a friend has taken the trouble to shop for and prepare a lovely meal for you or hosted you over a weekend, a thank you is meaningful. It doesn’t have to be elaborate; it doesn’t even have to be a fancy card. A simple email will do the job.

When I was still working, I always took the time to send a note of thanks for corporate gifts that I received at Christmas but as someone who also gave corporate gifts, I know that unfortunately this wasn’t the general practice in business. Boomers are now aunts, uncles and grandparents which means we’re frequently the giver not the receiver and we appreciate the appreciation. Am I right? David Eddie and I think so.

Click here for David Eddy’s Globe and Mail article “How can I get my relatives to show some gratitude?

Click here to order Miss Manners’ Guide For the Turn of the Millenium by Judith Martin from Amazon.

Author: Lynda Davis

As an early Baby Boomer, born in 1947, it seems to me that as we approach our retirement years, Boomers have gone from being the energy driving our nation to slowly becoming invisible. We risk losing our identity as society remains stubbornly youth-centric. And the irony is that Gen Xers and Ys are not the majority; we are. BOOMERBROADcast is my platform for being the voice of Baby Boomers, women in particular. We've generated a lot of changes over the decades but there's still a long way to go. After a 40-year career in the corporate world, I've taken up expressing the observations and concerns of our generation. Instead of pounding the pavement in my bellbottoms with a cardboard sign, I'm pounding my laptop (I learned to type on a manual typewriter and old habits die hard). If you have issues or concerns you would like voiced or have comments on what I've voiced, I'd love to hear from you. We started breaking the rules in the sixties and now that we're in our sixties it's no time to become complacent. Hope you'll stay tuned and if you like BOOMERBROADcast, share it with your friends. Let's rock n' roll! If you would like to be notified whenever I publish a new posting, click on the little blue box in the lower right of your screen that says +Follow→ Lynda Davis

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