The hairacy of the American election is predictible

Which one will be hair today gone tomorrow.
Which one will be hair today gone tomorrow.

Many years ago I read that the presidential candidate with the best hair always wins the American election. The evidence confirms that no bald guys (or gals) since Eisenhower have qualified and everyone from John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan to Bill Clinton seems to bear this out. More hair = more votes. There has been a lot of discussion about Donald’s Trump’s hair (or whatever it is) but, surprisingly, not much has been said about Hillary’s hair. Ordinarily, as a feminist I would object to too much attention being paid to what Hillary was wearing or her hairstyles if the same attention weren’t being directed at Trump’s clothing and hair. But they seem to be running neck n’ neck with Hillary’s pantsuits getting as much air time as Trump’s hair (or whatever it is).

Oh dear! Enough said.
Oh dear! Enough said.

So, I’m going to go out on a rather strong limb here and predict that the American election will be won by . . . Hillary Clinton . . . by a hair, a bountiful, full head of it, the real thing. Bill and Hillary are both gifted in the hair department with Hillary’s only misstep being a few years ago when she yielded to daughter Chelsea’s suggestion that she grow her hair long beyond her shoulders. The result? Hillary looked like a hag. Then she saw the light and went to a good stylist who gave her the flattering modified bob she sports today.

Really?
Really?

Trump’s saffron textured coiff on the other hand defies description. It reminds me of the greaser styles the tough guys wore in the fifties—front dip, duck-tail at the back, low side-part comb-over and too much hair on the collar. Apart from his racism, anti-feminism, his out-of-control stratospheric ego, blatant dishonesty, misogeny and general lack of understanding of real life, Donald will lose the election because Hillary is follically the better candidate. I guarantee she’ll win by a hair—an abundance of it.

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