Writers have always been advised and encouraged to write about what they know. Today, I’ve chosen to ignore that advice in order to vent about something I know very little about. Would someone please tell me what is so newsworthy about the Kardashian klan—Kris, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie—the whole kkk-koven? As part of my research and to be fair to the perpetrators I decided to watch an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians on TV but that only added anger to my state of bewilderment. After 10 minutes I couldn’t take any more and switched channels. Sitting at the head of the table was an old surgically altered woman who goes by the name of Bruce Jenner who may or may not be in a lesbian relationship with Mama Kris. Mama K blessed the whole family and thanked the God of Greed and Great Glorification for her incredible good fortune and the invention of money and plastic surgery.
The rest of the show treated viewers to scenes of entitled, spoiled, insensitive family members whining about other entitled, spoiled, insensitive family members. All this was carried out while sitting aboard a massive yacht anchored somewhere exotic. Perhaps using the word insensitive is unfair. After all, people who do that much name-calling and bitching about their first-world woes must have a level of sensitivity that is higher and far more developed than my own. Otherwise, how could they claim any level of unhappiness living in a world that delivers them every material reward conceivable without actually having to work for it.
Papa K, who passed away in 2003 was best bud, assistant legal counsel and supporter of O.J. Simpson. The kids come from fine stock indeed. In fact, it’s rumoured that one of the little K’s (Kourtney?) was even fathered by Simpson. Credentials don’t come much better than that. The Jenner klan at one time also had their own reality series when Jenner spawn Brody and Brandon were the stars of The Princes of Malibu. At that time, Brody and Brandon’s mother Linda Thompson (ex-girlfriend of Elvis Presley) was married to our very own Canadian music producer David Foster who was step-fathering the spoiled Jenner boys. I also tried watching that but didn’t have the intestinal fortitude. Fortunately, Foster finally saw the light and dumped the ex-Mrs. Jenner. Whew!
I should have probably used some sort of genealogical flow chart to explain the icky interrelationships in the KKK Klan but that would give them more legitimacy than they deserve. Who is financing these people and their lavish lifestyle? Marlene Arpe had a choice K-quote from Kendall in the Sunday Star, “I want to be taken seriously. People think that this (success) just came to me. But it didn’t.” Arpe’s, “I made the call to Mommy all by myself” says it all. It’s a made-in-America phenomenon that is a sad commentary on the state of the union. I’d like to think it just wouldn’t be korrect here. It’s not very Kanadian, eh!