BOOMERBROADcast

Baby Boomer's social commentary on life in OUR sixties for those who rocked life in THE sixties.

The fashion world is a sea of “don’ts”

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Canadian Living Magazine actually paid a stylist to suggest this looks good. From their May 2014 issue.

Canadian Living Magazine actually paid a stylist to suggest this looks good. From their May 2014 issue. Even the model looks uncomfortable and embarrassed to be seen wearing it.

Fashion is a fickle mistress. And do not believe the so-called fashion experts and stylists know what they’re talking about. I’m a huge fan of The Marilyn Denis Show but some of their fashion advice makes wonder what their fashion advisors have been smoking. Alexis Honce is an example of why Sears is going bankrupt. (And, she needs serious voice coaching to get rid of that ear-shattering nasal whine.) Marilyn, girlfriend, you have a great figure and we understand that you have waistline issues like the rest of us (especially me), but wearing maternity tops every day is not the solution. Peter Papapetrou is frequently way-off in his choices and Lisa Rogers is a saint for introducing me to FitFlops. Most of the time I trust Lynn Spence on CityLine but not always. Sandra Pittana has a flair I adore but unfortunately I’m not tall and skinny enough to wear her taste in fashion. One of the worst, in my opinion, is Oprah’s Adam Glassman. That man should stick with men’s wear. Chatelaine sometimes gets it right but they still devote too much fashion space to 20-somethings who probably don’t even read Chatelaine.

Give me strength. Or just shoot me.

Give me strength. Or just shoot me. Anything would be better than wearing this.

If I were to listen to the latest fashion dictates I’d be wearing klunky fat-heeled pumps with a wide ankle strap that cuts the visual length of my leg, a short flouncy gathered skirt that accentuates my 66-year-old wrinkled knees and makes my torso look like a yeasty loaf of bread. A cropped top would be worn out over my skirt making me look even more tubular and if I’m really lucky it would have raglan sleeves further accentuating a horizontal dimension. Weekend wear would be geometric printed cuffed short-shorts with gladiator sandals—very flattering on less-than-perfect legs—and an oversize filmy floral blouse that makes me look like a walking funeral arrangement. On cooler days my knees would poke out through sloppy boyfriend jeans that play up the short dumpy look. And while we’re at it, let’s complete the ensemble with a couple of layered tank tops that highlight my bat-wing upper arms. Glimmer and sparkle my eyes with lots of irridescent eye shadow so every imperfection is spotlighted and colour my lips with a luscious fuscia gloss that glows in the dark and makes my teeth look rotten.

Oprah actually got it right in their June 2014 issue. Jessica Walter (left) and Tippi Hedren.

Oprah actually got it right in their June 2014 issue. Jessica Walter (left) and Tippi Hedren.

I realize fashion magazines are only intended to inspire, that we’re not supposed to go out and Jessicaduplicate exactly what they feature. But we still look to them for positive inspiration and they deliver a disproportionate amount of ridiculousness. Where do these so-called stylists come from? They obviously have no understanding of the relationship between form and function. Stella McCartney, whose designs are always truly beautiful once said she designs with her (late) mother Linda in mind. Bless her heart. Sadly, her clothes are priced beyond the reach of 99.9% of us. Same thing with Armani.

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it until someone listens. Baby Boomer Broads (killer B’s) are a dominant demographic. We have money to spend. We like looking great. We’ve made enough fashion mistakes in our lifetime to know the fashion don’ts when we see them and we’re seeing plenty. When we make a mistake, we have caring girlfriends to intervene. Trust your instincts. And make yourself heard. Or call me. I have very strong opinions on the issue in case you haven’t noticed. lyndadavis1@yahoo.ca.

 

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Author: Lynda Davis

As an early Baby Boomer, born in 1947, it seems to me that as we approach our retirement years, Boomers have gone from being the energy driving our nation to slowly becoming invisible. We risk losing our identity as society remains stubbornly youth-centric. And the irony is that Gen Xers and Ys are not the majority; we are. BOOMERBROADcast is my platform for being the voice of Baby Boomers, women in particular. We've generated a lot of changes over the decades but there's still a long way to go. After a 40-year career in the corporate world, I've taken up expressing the observations and concerns of our generation. Instead of pounding the pavement in my bellbottoms with a cardboard sign, I'm pounding my laptop (I learned to type on a manual typewriter and old habits die hard). If you have issues or concerns you would like voiced or have comments on what I've voiced, I'd love to hear from you. We started breaking the rules in the sixties and now that we're in our sixties it's no time to become complacent. Hope you'll stay tuned and if you like BOOMERBROADcast, share it with your friends. Let's rock n' roll! If you would like to be notified whenever I publish a new posting, click on the little blue box in the lower right of your screen that says +Follow→ Lynda Davis

One thought on “The fashion world is a sea of “don’ts”

  1. Well said Lynda! Love the way you write!

    Like

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