Call me a masochist but I set myself up for extra stress this week by taking on four tech projects that pushed me way beyond my comfort zone and presented challenges far above my pay grade.

1. I bought new phones for both hubby and me because our Wilma Flintstone models were no longer performing up to 2025 standards.

   

2. My car’s GPS and radio system needed updating so I decided to do it myself.
3. I bought a Brand X robotic vacuum cleaner that requires a degree in computer science to figure out how it works—if it works.
4. Our internet/cable service died again and we had to beg for a technician to come to our house.

Job One was aquiring new mobile phones which I have avoided because I couldn’t face the inevitable discord, whining, and complaints that would be hurled my way if hubby had any problem using the new device, or if the contents didn’t exactly resemble his old one. And, my own phone wasn’t responding the way it should so I knew I had to bite the bullet and get a new one if I wanted to continue to access the Presidents’ Choice Express app, the library, and Amazon.

So, I put on my big girl pants and visited the phone kiosk in the little mall at the top of our street. Playing the old lady card, I explained my lack of understanding of tech issues to the young man working there. He was very patient and had a couple of nice surprises for me. We needed cheap and easy, and because we had an existing family plan with Freedom, we were supplied with new phones for free. The lovely young man also made sure all the data, contacts, and apps were transferred over without me having to manually sweat over it myself at home. Hubby does have a couple of complaints, but I don’t care. He’ll just have to get used to it. Job One completed successfully.

Job Two involved my car radio and GPS. Both were acting up and the screen would go black for extended periods of time. When the Ford dealership told me they would need to keep my car for an entire day to update its computer, I thought, “%#@k that!” So, I Google’d how to to it myself and, surprisingly, it wasn’t that difficult. I pulled the car out into the driveway, sync’d the car to our home WiFi, followed the online instructions I had written down earlier (old-fashioned technology I’ve mastered), and an hour later my system was all up to date. Job Two complete.

Job Three was my floors which doesn’t sound particularly high-tech but it can be. I don’t know about you, but between having a dog who spreads her food all over creation in order to gastronomically and scientifically sort out which pieces to eat first, and a husband who tracks gardening bits into the house, keeping my kitchen floor clean is a never-ending job. I thought the two-step chore could be eased slightly if I got a self-propelled robotic vacuum that did both jobs while I sat in my LaZgirl reading steamy novels about people with lives far more exciting than mine.

Complications arose when I unpacked my new purchase from Amazon (on sale, of course) and read the printed instructions, which might as well have been in Mandarin for all I understood. After assembling the assorted bits and downloading the app, I was stumped. I finally figured out how to turn it on and off and that’s pretty much as far as I’ve gone. Apparently, I can control direction, boundries, and functions with the touch of a button but for the foreseeable future I’ll have to be content with turning it on, letting it go crazy and fishing it out from under furniture when it gets tangled with lamp cords. Job Three still pending.

Finally, Job Four. if you have ever needed to have a technician from Bell Canada visit your house, there’s a strict vetting process you have to go through to earn the priviledge. After I have already rebooted the modem and receivers multiple times usually over the course of an hour or two, I break down and call 310Bell to beg for a service call by a real human being. I’m connected with a soft-spoken person I can barely hear (and I have to keep asking them to speak up and repeat themselves) in a third-world country who speaks English as a second or third language. This person then insists on making me spend the next hour performing all the same reboots I have just spent the last couple of hours carrying out.

At the beginning and end of my call for help, I mention that we have had this problem of intermittent service ever since we moved into this house fifteen years ago, so obviously Houston, we have a problem. When the service rep finally deems me genuinely worthy of sending a human being to my house for the second time in two weeks, I can’t resist saying “See. I told you so”. I think it would be easier for all of us to just have the technician move in with us. Job Four patched up—temporarily resolved until next time.

My life is a never-ending cycle of managing tech issues and it’s aging me far faster than any junk food or other bad lifestyle habit I have acquired over the years. As the old saying goes, Eat the chocolate, drink the wine. None of my bad habits will ever ruin me as quickly as the stress of trying to manage our electronic “time-saving” (ha!) devices.

The silver lining is that I have learned new things and knocking off three out of four projects ain’t bad, eh? Fortunately, I have friends who have the robovac thingies and I’m confident they will be able to bail me out of my operational stalemate.

I wasn’t elected and I didn’t volunteer to be our IT Manager and I hate the job. It pays literally nothing, makes me crave carbohydrates, makes my hair fall out, and triggers my rosacea.  Even the odd successful experiences like Job One, Job Two, and Job Four above can’t relieve my hatred of dealing with tech issues. Having a real tech manager in an adjoining office is the only thing I genuinely miss about the old days of having a real job.  How do you cope?