In the interests of hospitality, we try to keep a generous assortment of cold beverages in our fridge for when visitors drop by. There is one drink, however, that never fails to elicit very particular preferences—Coca-Cola®. Most of our friends will drink any brand of wine or beer, but everyone has very specific tastes in that miracle beverage that in the good old days contained real cocaine.

Within the past week, we’ve had a couple of tradesmen visit our house. The first one serviced our storm door which has not latched properly for the past six years. I was so excited to finally get this fixed that I was willing to lay on whatever swag he wanted to make him happy and help him get the job done. Beef Wellington? Coming right up. Toasted BLT? No problem. What he requested was a simple, everyday Coke—except he was very specific. It had to be Coke Classic—Diet Coke and Zero were not acceptable.

Unfortunately, I had no Coke Classic in my inventory and because I was so desperate to keep him happy (good tradespeople are hard to find), I ran next door to see if my neighbour had some of his preferred blend in stock. No luck there either. He deferred on my offer of a Diet Coke or Coke Zero and opted to go without. To his eternal credit, he still fixed my door.

Then, yesterday we had a guy come in to service our air conditioner in preparation for summer. Once again I asked if he would like something, a cold drink perhaps? He indicated he would love a cold Coke but specifically, not Diet Coke. Fortunately, he was more amenable than the storm door guy and he conceded to drinking a Coke Zero, but his preference clearly would have been Classic.

To be fair, I totally understand their commitment to their preferred drink of choice because I am exactly the same. I prefer Diet Coke. I will not drink Classic and I will only drink Zero under duress, as I find it too sweet, like Classic. I do not like pop (I’m Canadian—we say pop, not soda) from an aluminum can or a plastic bottle. My personal preference is fresh from the fountain, exactly like I used to get after school in my favourite booth at Long’s Restaurant in the early sixties.

In a food court, I’ll bypass the concessions that only have canned drinks, and line up at one that serves genuine fountain Diet Coke. Movie theatres and fast food restaurants usually have the best fountain drinks as there’s lots of turnover and their machines are usually properly maintained. It’s fresh, perfectly mixed and served with unlimited heaps of ice. And, if I’m having particularly salty food (Five Guys chips), I can help myself to free refills.

There was a time when I went for years without drinking Coke but I now allow myself a treat when I’m out and I never drink it at home in case it becomes another bad habit. I tried making my own with a Soda Stream machine and their flavour syrups but it was nowhere near the ‘real thing’. When I do indulge in a forbidden fountain Diet Coke (loaded with scary inflammatory chemicals and carcinogens), I want exactly what I want and nothing less. I’m virtuous that way.

We all have our favourite brands of so many consumer goods and it’s no wonder store shelves are overflowing with choices. We’re a pampered society. It’s evident we’re also brand snobs and make no bones about it. We’re boomers, we’re fussy, and we’re proud of it.

Are you a Coke Classic, Diet, or Zero aficionado? If you’re smarter than I am, you’ll say “None of them,” and I’ll completely understand. I aspire to be you. Meanwhile, I’m off to buy a few bottles of Coke Classic because reliable tradespeople are hard to find and I want to stay on their good side.