Twice in recent days, I’ve engaged in conversations with friends about household appliances—the ones we like, and the ones that were a waste of money and cupboard space. The winners and losers are highly subjective. We all have our favourites and they do not always align.

A couple of years ago, Instant Pot was the hula hoop of the kitchen scene. Of course, I ran out and bought one thinking it would replace my crock pot, my rice cooker, and dozens of other kitchen appliances while adding a pressure cooker to my bag of tricks. I loved the idea of its metal, no-stick, lightweight liner pan. It would allow me to brown meat without dirtying a frying pan, then add whatever I needed to turn it into a crock pot without the cumbersome weight of that enormous ceramic liner. I just knew Instant Pot would make all my kitchen dreams come true.

Those rosy dreams did not materialize. It does not deliver the same degree of deliciousness and tenderness of a pot roast simmering all day in an old-fashioned crockpot, even with the pressure cooking feature. To be honest, learning how to use it was so frustrating, I gave up trying. That beautifully illustrated Instant Pot cookbook I bought gathered dust too. It wasn’t without its benefits, however. The liner pan was lightweight and easy to wash.

Another appliance I love, and I seem to be the only one among my group of friends who does, is my rice cooker. I bought a basic one at Walmart in the United States years ago for $14.98 and I absolutely love it. I realize cooking rice in a saucepan on the top of the stove is not that complicated, but my little rice cooker has a no-stick liner pan. I pour a couple of cups of water, a little bit of butter, and a cup of brown rice into the pan, turn it on and, forty minutes later I have perfect rice for a stir-fry. The built-in sensor knows when it’s done and automatically resets itself from “Cook” to “Keep Warm”.  It also makes decent oatmeal porridge without creating a huge sticky mess.

The jury is still out on my new food processor. About forty or fifty years ago I bought a basic, old-fashioned Moulinex food processor for not much money at Canadian Tire and that little machine performed like a trooper for years. Then, I succumbed to the sirens’ call of marketing and advertising and thought I should have a newer, fancier one.

So, I bought a super-duper Cuisinart contraption that weighs almost as much as I do. It has so many blades and other parts that it scares the bejeezus out of me. It’s a major workout just to haul it out of the pantry but it’s too big and complicated to leave sitting on the counter, and it’s a giant pain in the ass to wash. I miss my simple, old Moulinex.

It’s a miracle I’ve avoided buying one of the swanky new air fryers. As long as I can resist purchasing one, I’ll have more counter space and still hang on to a portion of my RRSP. The same holds true for countertop convection/toaster oven combinations. So far, I’m doing just fine without one as my microwave does most things I want and I rarely use my big oven.

I make toast in a lovely red Dualit beauty from Williams-Sonoma that my husband bought me for Christmas one year. He told me the Queen had one. I’ve yet to decide whether buying me a toaster as a gift was a good sign or a bad sign, but, I like its shiny red presence on my counter just like in the fancy-dancy home decorating magazines.

My microwave is one appliance I could not live without. When our old one died a couple of years ago, we had to borrow a spare one from a friend until our new one arrived. I couldn’t survive without it. It’s amazing how many times a day we warm things up in the microwave or heat our entire meal in one. It makes cooking for two especially convenient and economical compared with heating up our big oven. I know, you’ll say that a countertop convection toaster oven would be the ideal solution, but no, I’m not going to get one.

Another appliance I love is my little electric hand blender and have used the same old Braun model for years. I make a lot of homemade soups and that little gizmo is just the ticket for puréeing.

When bigger is not necessarily better

Going from small to big, my husband likes to tease me about the giant, cast-iron KitchenAid stand mixer that sits in the corner of our kitchen counter like a precious work of art. It’s another one of those things I just had to have and it comes in so many delicious colours. Mine is cobalt blue. How could I resist?

I use my KitchenAid stand mixer primarily for whipping cream (once or twice a year) or mixing ingredients for cookies, on the rare occasions I bake cookies. It would probably be more practical and certainly cheaper to whip cream with my Viking (an ancient Eaton’s house brand) electric hand mixer that I bought for $7.00 at a pawn shop in the sixties instead of using the KitchenAid monstrosity. It’s a very expensive cream whipper but there’s no accounting for logic.

My husband won a bread machine in a golf tournament at the beginning of the millennium when they were past being all the rage. Most people I know have already packed their bread machines off to the charity shop or tossed them altogether. Not me. I love mine and still use it on a regular basis. It’s difficult to get good quality ready-made bread that isn’t loaded with sugar and chemicals, which is why I like making my own. I could use my KitchenAid stand mixer to make bread too if I were ever brave enough to try. If you have an easy recipe that doesn’t require I dig my hands in and knead, then let me know.

Many of my kitchen gadgets do double duty. I realize I could slice potatoes for scalloped potatoes in the food processor, but somehow it just seems easier to pull out my little hand-operated mandolin, or better still, a low-tech cutting board and knife.

I think that is one kitchen gadget we can all agree is indispensable—a good-quality, sharp knife. Have you ever been to someone’s house and their cheap, dull paring knife won’t even slice a tomato properly? Don’t ya’ just hate that? My own knives reside in a handy block on my counter and I regularly sharpen them to keep them in the best working order. Besides, you never know when you might want to stab someone and you don’t want to screw up the job.

In a concession to our advancing age, we recently had to buy an electric kettle. I was happy with my bright red Le Creuset model that looked so cool sitting on my stovetop, but after destroying a couple by letting them boil dry and burn, we had to go electric. We now have a bright red SMEG model with a stainless steel liner and it automatically shuts off when the water has reached boil. That switch will save me hundreds of dollars in new kettles.

We’re tea drinkers so coffee makers are not a big part of our inventory. I have a little Tassimo machine for one-off requests and an old 12-cup Black & Decker no-frills model (again from Canadian Tire) for when we have overnight guests who expect breakfast. When my little Tassimo dies, I suppose I’ll buy into the Nespresso trend.

In a nutshell, so to speak

As I gaze around my kitchen, I realize I could probably get rid of half the crap I own and probably not miss it, but there’s just that off-chance I would, so I hang on to everything—except that Instant Pot. It’s on its way to appliance heaven where it will join my George Foreman Grill, my ice cream maker, orange juicer, and other follies.

If you would like my Instant Pot, let me know. It’s bound to be a collector’s item as the company that manufactures them has declared bankruptcy. I’ll even throw in the fancy cookbook I bought for inspiration that never materialized. That should clear some cupboard space for whatever future fad I get sucked into. I hear fondue pots are making a comeback, only now they’re electric!

It sounds like I love cooking and being in the kitchen, but you could not be more wrong. My quest for the ultimate in appliances is all about making my time in the kitchen easier, simplier, and quicker. I’m a lazy cook who steadfastly avoids recipes that are labour-intensive. For all the money I’ve invested in questionable kitchen appliances, I could have probably hired a full-time chef for less. Win some, lose some. What appliances are your winners and losers?