Baby boomers came of age at a time when the mantra was never trust anyone over thirty. Ouch. Some of us now have grandchildren over thirty which means we’ve come a long way since then and have learned a thing or two along the way. We’re brutally aware of our age, particularly when we start doing or saying things that sound like they’re from another era or generation. Here are a few real-life examples experienced by baby boomers that drive this message home. You know you’re getting old when:
Closing a place means getting home from a Saturday night out on the town at 8:30 p.m. not a.m.
- We go out to lunch instead of dinner because a) it’s cheaper, and b) we don’t like to drive after dark.
- We take leftover restaurant food home in a doggie bag for dinner that night (see Item 2 above) or lunch the next day.
- Celebrating New Years’ Eve is iffy because we can’t stay up until midnight. Then, there’s the driving after dark issue.
- We prefer talk radio to rock radio.
- Out of our mouths pops, “Boy, when we were young . . . “ followed by comments about how spoiled, entitled and lazy so many young people are today and how terrible today’s music is .
- Sturdy arch supports beat out stiletto’s.
- Sourcing cheap booze is the result of having the time to price shop instead of having no money.
- We’re thrilled we qualify for seniors’ rates at the movies, on public transit and special days at Shoppers Drug Mart. That means extra money for Item 8.
- We opt for electrolysis on our upper lip and chin hairs instead of getting a Brazilian.
- Major chunks of the monthly budget are devoted to getting our colour done.
- Major chunks of time are devoted to hiding fashion and beauty maintenance costs from our life partner.
- You turn out the lights and hide in the den on Halloween instead of going to a crazy party.
- You’d rather just skip Christmas and head south.
- Your peers at the community centre sixties dances look so much older than you. They’re all old, fat and bald and they dance funny, like they don’t know they’re old, fat and bald.
- A good parking spot now means closest to the mall entrance rather than down a country road after dark doing things our parents wouldn’t approve of.
- The definition of an ideal mate is no longer cute and a good dancer. It’s healthy and a good RRSP.
- You get your political jollies sitting in your pyjama bottoms and reading the editorial page in the morning paper instead of marching in your bell bottoms and waving a placard.
- The criteria for a good bra are comfort and coverage not black lace and transparency.
- Grannie panties feel divine.
And the list goes on. But you get the picture. The bottom line is we’re lucky to be here celebrating the best years of our lives.