The September issue blows

Every year I look forward to writing a bitchy critique of the famous September issue of Vogue magazine. At upwards of 800 pages, it arrives with a heavy thud in my mailbox (a couple of years ago the postman actually rang my doorbell and personally handed it to me) and usually gives me a couple of hours of entertainment. Most of what Vogue offers up is utter nonsense and completely irrelevant to the average woman. Despite this, somehow I usually manage to find one or two tiny sparks of inspiration…

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What is disposable fashion?

Are you sitting down? Burberry recently incinerated $37 million worth of their luxury brand merchandise that didn't sell. Rather than dilute the cachet of their brand by offering it at discounted prices to the great unwashed masses (like us), they torched it. It must be lovely to have a business with such generous markups and profit margins that you can afford to just set fire to $37 million. That act of destruction reminded me of how casually we treat our possessions regardless of the cost. Not only are fashions from…

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Help! I’ve O.D.’d on black and white

At what point does safe, so-called classic dressing become just plain boring? We've always been told that basic black and white is a never-fail look for any occasion. It's safe, easy to assemble and accessorize and we can be assured of never feeling self-conscious. I've religiously adhered to that principle for far too long and my closet now looks like a nun lives here. It's time I kicked the "habit". I'm embarrassed to tell you how many pairs of black pants I own, not to mention black and white blouses,…

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Want to feel better about how you look?

Who among us doesn't look at magazines or at our own bodies in the privacy of bedroom mirrors or in retail store fitting rooms and wish we were thinner, taller or prettier. The media sets impossibly high standards for appearance and even though we know those pictures are extensively Photoshopped and otherwise altered, we can't help feeling like we fall short. Well, we're not short, fat or abnormal. Models are genetic freaks. We're the normal ones. Here are some statistics that will make you feel a whole lot better about…

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Are you guilty of smuggling shoes into Canada?

The comments made this week by Donald Trump about scuffy contraband shoes being smuggled into Canada is just too delicious for this Canadian serial shoe wearer to ignore. In one of his latest unhinged rants Trump attempted to horrify patriotic Americans into vilifying Canada and mistakenly defend protectionism. By informing them that Canadians were so desperate for shoes and to avoid Canadian duties (or tariffs as he called them, which are not the same thing) he announced that we make covert trips to the United States to purchase and smuggle…

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